The Ex is Cyber-Stalking Me

I have a content producer page over at another site that pays for articles I submit. Over the last month I’ve noticed a new commenter who is not a member of this site named “Viv.”

Now “Viv” showed up out of the blue and began to critique each of my articles regarding deafness with detailed and sometimes confrontational language, not seeming to notice or care, “her” opinions were in sync with mine. The first comment this person left was this:

“AG Bell and the society he founded being humored by deaf is like Jews being tolerant to Adolf Hitler and Nazis.”


My article clearly stated that I was not in favor of the way the AG Bell Association of the Deaf had attacked a particular commercial done by Pepsi just prior to the 2008 Super Bowl.  The commercial used deaf actors using sign language and was funny and well-received by a large portion of the deaf community.  The only people who seemed to have a problem with it were members of AG Bell and strict oralists who used it as an opportunity to decry Pepsi’s commercial as an example of “stereotyping” the deaf.  My article focused on why I believed AG Bell was wrong.  

And yet, the Nazi comment popped up. 

I should have figured it out right then and there.  Really.  My ex-husband is a WWII fanatic and enjoys using war references at every chance he gets.  Hell, if I were discussing the manner in which dogs shit, he’d find a way to link it to some kind of war tactic. 

But I wasn’t paying attention because around that time I was just figuring out I was pregnant.  Yeah, I was preoccupied with the prospect of impending motherhood.  So of course, it didn’t register at first.  Even though the comments left me with a very familiar feeling of irritation, I didn’t catch on yet.  Nor did it register after a nearly a month’s worth of rambling critiques until “Viv” decided to leave a comment on an article that had nothing to do with deafness.  “She” had read a story I had written about the only blind date I’d ever been on way back in the 90’s.  Here’s a run-down of the commentary exchange between me and “Viv:”

Viv- Sounds like a typical guy. So have you ever known a man who really knew much?
(Ok, no problem with that comment.  This could have come from a bona fide, embittered female from anywhere in the world.) 

Me-  Yup!  My husband!

Viv-  Sounds like you had a few. Just this one? I think about a few I’ve had. Not only this one. Like the say in class, it is serial monoamy (sic) in present day America….They aren’t all stupid in bed and out…..

(I didn’t read this one, and if I had, I would have taken action sooner.  Why?  Because nowhere in my article or content producer page did I mention ever having been married more than once.  How could this person justify assuming I’d been married before?  I did not reply to this one.)

Viv- So what does this paragon of wisdom do and what is he like? What in particulary (sic) is he so wise about?

Naturally, you can understand my sense of utter and complete WTF-edness at these last two comments when I saw them last night for the first time.  It was then that I reviewed every last comment “Viv” had made since January 27th and came to the conclusion that “Viv” is actually my ex-husband, and he has been cyber-stalking me.  

You may wonder how I can be so sure about it.  Well, I was with this paragon of mental illness for nearly seven years.  His habits are the same as they were in 1985.  He obsesses about things that happened to him over twenty years ago and refuses to “let it go,” and move on.  He also has been attending college classes for well over 15 years in order to avoid paying back old student loans.  Not only that, the grammatical and spelling errors are similar to what I’d expect of him.  But the kicker was his sentence structure and syntax.  My ex-husband has a unique way of putting his thoughts down on paper and after I reviewed every last comment he made, I realized the pattern could not be disputed.  Because he had physically stalked me for a few months after I left him, this latest development has left me seething with anger and frustration.  

And so after considering what kind of action I could take, I decided to let “Viv” know the game was up. I contacted the content producer site’s help desk and explained the situation and my suspicions.  I also left this comment for “her” to mull over:

Me- Wow, inappropriate comments that sound like a jealous ex-husband….

Knowing him, the idiot will take the bait.


Filed under Life

2 responses to “The Ex is Cyber-Stalking Me

  1. dyricci

    OMG Trina, this is crazeee! What would one think they would accomplish by these actions? I never really understand this type of thing…

  2. It’s a control thing. I’ve already alerted a ton of people who know him. I’m more angry than worried, but still worried.

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